We’re already ten days into the new year and it has already been quite the year for me on a personal level. As an author, I make a conscious effort to keep my posts positive as often as possible, but today I wanted to open up and share an uncensored look at some of the big things that have been going on in my life for the last couple of months.
First, I’m dealing with personal issues pertaining to my physical and mental health. December and January are always extremely difficult times for me. They have been for years and for many reasons, but the prime reason is that December marks the anniversary of the most difficult event of my life when, ten years ago, I was assaulted. I still carry many of those emotional scars even though I’ve been through years of counseling. I still struggle with PTSD and depression on a regular basis, and it can be particularly hard to deal with it around the anniversary. This year, I was also caught off guard with some news pertaining to my physical health at the same time. Nothing horribly bad and I’m currently on a treatment plan, but it was yet another blow to my system that left me feeling off balance and fragile.
In addition to this, my youngest ferret, Cameron was diagnosed with Lymphoma in July. Which meant that we knew we could be saying goodbye to him in a matter of weeks or a few months, but we started treatment to make sure that he could live the happiest life possible during the time he had left.
And he did! Month after month.
I don’t know how many times something would happen and I would tell myself, this is it. We’re going to have to say goodbye soon. A respiratory infection. The loss of use of his hind legs. But, he kept going. He kept playing and he still acted like the same old Cameron. So we treated the problems, built him a wheelchair, and continued supporting him in any way possible. His regular vet took a couple of weeks off and was surprised when she came back to hear that he was in the waiting room to see her. But just after the first of the year, he took a rapid turn for the worst and within twenty-four hours, we were saying goodbye to our little furbaby. This was by far the most taxing moment and yet, I’m still in awe by Cameron’s determination to keep going as long as he did. I wish I could have done more for him, and yet, our vet told us that she has never seen a ferret with lymphoma live so long. Even she was impressed by his determination, and–as she said–our devotion to make sure he had the best chance to have a fulfilling life as long as possible.
Despite all of this, I went forward with publishing the boxed set, and with the help of so many supportive authors, I was able to get the word out on its soft release–with no advance marketing! Even with the quiet release I hit #12 overall in Erotic Suspense. and #6 overall in Erotic BDSM. I’m thankful every day for the readers and bloggers who support and read my work. I try to say it as much as I can, but you all have no idea how much you mean to me, and how much every share and read can mean to an author.
As writers, I think our personal struggles are often far more entwined with our professional lives. These are the experiences that we ultimately draw on, but there’s no one to cover for us when we have to take a sick day or deal with personal issues. There’s no one else to fall back on or to pick up the slack–many of us are the sole workers in our business, and that means business can come full-stop if life throws up too many personal obstacles. However, as our individual networks grow, it also becomes apparent how many people there are to help. I have been blessed in this part of my life to have found the people that I can most easily relate to–the writers and readers who, like me, have experienced numerous lives through books. And these are the people who have helped me get through and keep working.
I’m still taking time to heal and put the pieces back together, which means I’m a bit behind in my production schedule. But that’s okay too, because that’s just the reason I haven’t announced any release dates for this year. I can however promise that I have two projects in the works right now, and many more pending.
I’m shooting for more this year–to become closer with my friends in the writing world, to be more open, to write more books, and to better improve my business all around. I hope this year will be a remarkable year for all of us.
Thank you again to everyone who continues to be there to support me!